"I'm Fine.."

I really hate my life. I always try my goddamn hardest to make the people that I care about happy, and it's usually at my own expense. I comfort people, I give them advice, I always make sure that they're ok. It would be really nice if I at least got some sort of recognition once in a while for the things I do for people. But I guess that's the way I'm destined to live. A perpetual silent hero. I even feel guilty about calling myself a hero. I don't deserve that. In the end, everyone else will be happy except me, and I don't think there really will be anything that could change that and it terrifies me. I try to step out of my element as much as possible so maybe at least I can be happy for a change, but I always fall back into this self-loathing state because I'm always a little bit unhappier when I see other people unhappy. Whatever, I fucking give up. I always try to do my best, maybe I falter sometimes or often but I give all that I can give. I'm sorry if I let people down. I'm not perfect but I know I do try my hardest to make everyone's lives a little bit more bearable. I want to seek guidance, but I know nobody will truly understand me for who I am, or worse, care enough to help. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry.