Not Now, Not Ever

I don't think I've been more terrified of anything in my entire life than I am right now, thinking that if I don't do this, I won't EVER have the chance to do it again. I mean, it might be the wine talking, but I sure do feel shitty about my current situation with this one particular person and the way things tend to sway unfavorably for me. It's hardly even fair. I make sure I try to do things right. I'm a nice person. Why can't nice things happen to me? I don't fucking understand. I'm so jaded at this point that it's become hard for me to believe what I try and impart on others. I do truly believe in the sincerity and goodness of human motives and actions, but it's become harder and harder every day to even bother with anything at all. Now I've seen that there are people in my life that do care about my well being and do sincerely try and make the bad feelings go away, but I don't take things for granted and I guess that's where my faults lie, right? Honestly, she's all I care about at this point. I could lose every last person in my life and have just her. And you know what? I would be happy.

In the End, We all Burn Away

Your name burned bright gold, darling

You may not think that's much

but to me, you're more than I could have ever asked for

I love you

I miss you

Best of 2008

Also behind my reasoning for moving to the Pacific Northwest

So This is the New Year..

I wish I knew what the fuck was going on and I wish I knew what to do and say to you.
Soon, you'll be far away and I really wanted to let you know how I feel.

Don't fuck this one up.

I thought

I had finally found what I was looking for all this time.
What a shame it was when I found out you were just like all the rest.
I should've known all along, your condescending pretentiousness,
thinly veiled by your false sincerity.
Just a pretty face, you claim ownership of too much that you're not.
I don't want to hear another nice word come out of your mouth.
Because I know you won't mean it.

Yes We Did

FUCK YEAH!

Hearts on Fire

Visions swirl all around me
in a haze of tranquility and chaos
Our eyes meet in an explosion of beauty
our lives culminating to this exact moment
LOVE LOVE LOVE is all you need